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Lingerie and Late Nights

Have you even been with someone who is so affirming and sincere that you wonder how you could have ever been with past partners who made you feel less than?

Loni James
Loni James
5 min read
Lingerie and Late Nights
Citadel Hill, Amman. 

A Date in Every Country: A Series
Date #4
Location: Amman, Jordan
Nationality: American
Activity: citadel, dinner in, walks and bars.
Time: 3 days
Will see again? Wild horses couldn’t stop me!
Connected via: met organically

When I packed for my journey, I took a gamble when I chose to bring a single piece of lingerie in what limited space I had. Well…it paid off. I think people call that manifesting.

Have you even been with someone who is so affirming and sincere that you wonder how you could have ever been with past partners who made you feel less than? A person who compliments you in such a way that helps you to push aside those body insecurities with no thought to suck it in or make sure the lights are off? A partner who makes you feel so desired that you wonder why you ever put up with that guy from your past who never complimented you or showed you off? I’m reminded that this recent experience shouldn’t be labeled as just another travel story.

The days we shared together are for me -  the past, present and future versions of myself. For the younger version of myself who was told to never gain weight. For the present me that faced rejection and blamed it on how I looked. For future me, learning to take more risks and being open to finding connections in unusual places.

This journey to explore countries and cultures has me learning so much about myself and for that I’m exceedingly grateful.

You’ve all been patiently waiting so here we go! It’s been a fun few days to say the least. Go back and read the last post of how we met if you haven’t already! The first day that Date #4 and I met we headed to the bar after our “non-nap”. After drinks at the bar and chemistry that would make Hollywood swoon, we walked back and headed to the rooftop. We pull 2 chairs close together, somewhat hidden by the laundry that was hung to dry. Did I unknowingly sit in a broken chair and keel over in a fit of giggles? Way to ruin the moment Loni. Ensue laughter and him pulling me onto his lap for some more kisses before we said goodnight.

The next day was our last day together at the hostel as he was getting keys to his new place. He had a few days gap between leases hence his stay. The day was spent talking and just enjoying each other’s company. He texts me from his bunk that he cannot move because a kitten has fallen asleep on him. (Are you kidding me?! Be still my heart.) I had to go investigate and he was not joking. Now I’m working to convince him to keep her. He named her MooMoo cause she has black and white spots like a cow.

No subject is off limits with us and I find men with a good vocabulary to be very appealing. There’s something sweet about a slow paced day, no to do list or urgency althoughhhhh it was spiced up by a second non-nap. Mmmhmm. We sat on the rooftop and chatted with other guests and while we were attempting to be discreet apparently even just chilling in the same room, the sparks were enough that people noticed. I had only booked 2 nights there and he officially invited me to stay with him. I have never stayed with a man I just met before. I’d also never napped with one….til now.

I couldn’t say no.

That last night at the hostel had me sneaking into my bunk in the wee hours and the man at the front desk stared me down at o’dark thirty like he knew all my secrets. (Sorry not sorry!) After sleeping in, we each packed up our things and took a stroll before heading to get his keys. The upgrade from bunkbed to queen was definitely appreciated and he did not end up making dinner that night lol. He did take me out for drinks and conversation took a turn when he paused, looked at me and said, “In another life we would have had very smart kids.” (UM WHAT?!? Who says this stuff?! You DO know that bringing kids up let alone talking about having them together is wayyyyyy too soon for 2 people who just met. Right?!) A comment like this freaks me out but in a traveler’s world, a strong connection can often to lead to vulnerability turning into comments and conversation that would typically be considered taboo or entirely premature for dating back home. I had already told him that I didn’t want children but wow! This provoked a dialogue regarding my choice, which is deeply personal and hasn’t always gone over well with men in the past. He was very respectful and I took his comment to be a very sincere albeit intimate compliment.

We wandered home late and I’m pleased to say that we’ve somehow fallen into the comfort of holding hands as we stroll. Is it me or does anyone else just appreciate holding hands? Pretty sure I’ve been single for farrrrrr too long. Don’t get me started on the door holding and always walking on the outside of the sidewalk. Our conversations have covered everything from politics and religion to first jobs and past relationships. We definitely don’t align in all beliefs but there’s a mutual respect for each other and we often fall into teasing and laughter despite passionately disagreeing on certain subjects.

Our last day together and we headed to lunch on Rainbow Street with a beautiful view of the city. He still would not let me pay for anything. Conversation flows as easily as water and we both acknowledge that this is not easily found as we are attracted to each other’s minds as much as each other’s bodies. We head up to the citadel to overlook the city. He decided we should climb this ancient wall and just sit and enjoy the view. I’m confident that we made a lovely picture and I’m sure some stranger has a photo of us. There we sat, all snuggled up, perched on these ancient ruins and just taking in the city with whispers passing between us for fear of ruining the moment.

The day was full but we did a quick grocery shopping run so he could make dinner. We had walked all over town so it was quite late. Picture this - it’s 10pm, he’s cooking us dinner while jazz music is playing on his phone. I’m sitting on the kitchen counter and he is stealing kisses between stirring and seasoning. Dinner turned into a little picnic on the bed and there was a quiet tone to the evening as we both became pensive. The thought of this being our last night did not suit either of us so he asked to see me again. I realized that I could easily book my next ticket out of Amman so if all goes to plan I’ll see him again in less than a week!

Teaser: He is already making plans to take me to his favorite restaurant. Looks like the lingerie will get an encore.

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Loni James

As I collect and record these stories, I hope they make you laugh, curse and dream of far off places. May they inspire you to cross oceans and meet plenty of interesting people along the way.