Date #31 - The Accidental Twins

A Date in Every Country: A Series
Date #31
Location: Namibia
Nationality: South African/Namibian
Activity: drinks, walk, lunch
Time: 8 hours?
Will see again? Probably not
Connected via: Tinder🔥

I promise you that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would end up on a date with twins, let alone ending the encounter not even knowing which one I was on a date with…? Yeah I’m still confused when I think about it.

Namibia is made for roadtripping (HIGHLY recommend it) and I was doing my best to date when I was in/near a city. I spent a lot of time camping and exploring so this limited my dating timeframe. I still managed 3 (4?) dates depending on how you count them. I typically don't go out with single dads as my transient lifestyle and decision to be child-free make us incompatible long term. That being said, Namibia has a small population and I had limited options.

My profile clearly states I’m passing through so I felt comfortable making an exception just this one time. Our Tinder messages have been a bit flirtatious and he’d been exceedingly helpful in suggesting activities and answering questions about transportation in country. We are planning to meet up the day after I arrived in town. Within hours of arriving, he messages saying he was out with his brother and friends but I was welcome to join. I’m not a girl that says no to an invitation for drinks by the ocean so off I went to meet him...them. The bar was part of a hotel with an outside lounge area overlooking the ocean. I roll up and my date quickly introduces me to at least 6 people, one of whom is his brother. No shit Sherlock - he’s a dead ringer for my actual date. If my date hadn't introduced himself first, either one could have passed for my Tinder match. For the story’s sake, brother #1 is my date, brother #2 is his twin, not perfectly identical but their shared gene pool is as obvious as the Kardashians. The group is really great and everyone is quite welcoming. I consider this a massive green flag. Your friend group directly reflects on you so he was off to a good start. That being said, it’s a bunch of friends drinking and laughing together so there aren’t too many options to keep that date vibe going. Until the blankets came out.

As the evening chilled the servers handed out cozy blankets , a 10/10 for ambiance. My date and I shared and I made the very bold choice to brush my hand up against his under the blanket. Scandalous I know. My juvenile move paid off and to be fair, the hand holding was my best attempt to avoid that dreaded "friendzone". We got caught at one point and the group ooo’d and aahh’d, teasing us like we had been caught holding hands in the back seat of the school bus. (Confession: my purity culture youth meant I never actually did this so I'm just making up for lost time.) The air is getting colder but between the banter and cozy firelight, the lovely evening continued later than anyone had planned.

Before we call it a night, my date casually mentions he still had to work all week while his brother was visiting....making sure to mention that Twin #2 was free to hang out during the day. An innocent suggestion...or so I thought.

The following day I’m grabbing coffee before exploring a bit and out of nowhere my date sends his brother’s contact info. A second text follows, reiterating the supposedly innocent suggestion from the night before - his brother was on holiday so we should hang out. I clock this as a brotherly kindness, just making sure his twin wasn't sitting around bored on holiday while he was stuck at work. Grabbing a coffee seems harmless enough and based on our interaction the night before, his brother was kind. Twin #2 texts me that afternoon, his brother having shared my number. He suggests a meeting point by the water and I figure why not?

Our rendezvous has morphed into a lovely, albeit very long walk along the ocean. The weather is perfect and we explore the pier before it’s decided that food is needed. He suggests a local food spot with phenomenal sammies so we set off walking. Our conversation is easy and we are having a great time. I find myself questioning if this is a set up. Do I have more in common with Twin #2? Is Twin #1 passing me off to his brother? Did I want to be passed off? I'm just along for the ride and we find ourselves back at the same restaurant as the night before. Whether it was the ocean breeze or the first or second round of beers, this is where the conversation turns. His tongue has loosened enough to drop not one bomb but two.

Twin #1 is still married!! You should have seen my face. There was no disguising my surprise as my eyebrows leapt to my hairline. Now I knew he was a father, having consciously agreed to making an exception for this date, but I SWORE this man’s profile said divorced. I jump on this confession, needing to know more. He shares that his brother has been separated a while but with a few questions I learn that filing divorce paperwork is quite expensive in Namibia. Finances might be holding up the process but I felt a bit blindsided.

A few beers and a lot of sun has made me a bit bolder and I find myself unwilling to just let this slide. I inform Twin #2 that this was a big thing for his brother to not mention. I may be passing through but I'm both surprised and frustrated by this discovery. While I am not responsible for my date's actions, unfortunately this is not the first time I've had such a confession.

Date #3 in Egypt should have taught me me better but here I am again, on a date with a man who's not really single.

I sneak away to the bathroom and confirm that his profile says nothing - not divorced, separated or married. I had simply assumed…wrongly. Is not putting this on his profile a cultural difference? Is it fair to be a mad at the deception? Was it really a deception or perhaps he was waiting to tell me in person. I do realize that I haven't actually had any alone time with my Tinder Date. At this point I've spent more time with his twin and since I'm passing through did it really even matter? Jumping to conclusions or judging someone is never a good look so I choose to focus on the man across from me. In this case, my date's brother. I’m sensing some flirtation from Twin #2 as our many hours together have clearly made us comfortable. The conversation takes a scandalous turn and I find myself questioning just how much twins share…

Upon returning to the table, I dig a little deeper. He confesses that they’ve dated the same person in the past - not at the same time but still. Now I don't have the same taste in men as most of my friends (Thank goodness!) and I'd wager a guess that sharing "a type" with a sibling is even more complicated. The conversation turns into a full-on confessional and while I won't share the details of everything... WOW. I've been gifted with a face that continually pulls secrets from humans I've just met. It’s a blessing and a curse I tell ya.

He steers away from the heavy content, confessing that he’s been trying to improve in the kitchen to woo the ladies. I’m very entertained by his impassioned position on eggs benedict. He shares his own challenges with dating and I’m just trying to suss out where I stand in this weird tripod of a situation. In the midst of my confusion, we receive a text from Twin #1 wanting to meet for happy hour as he’s finishing up work.

And that’s how I ended up having beers by the ocean with a set of twins, completely clueless as to which one was my date.

It's sunset and I'm sitting across from two humans that could be convicted of the same crime yet I couldn't decipher who had seemingly won dibs. The banter was playful and to be honest I’m sure I was more than a bit awkward. I made a gallant effort of going back and forth, equally distributing my attention. I was more entertained by them than entertaining the idea of anything actually happening. I bowed out before things got too weird but that didn't stop them from inviting me over the following day. My spidey senses were on alert and thankfully I had an excuse.

With my Namibia adventures calling me north for my first self-drive safari, I headed out of town. Both of them continued to text me which only added to the confusion. Twin #1 was asking about my travels around the country and did I need anything while even months later, Twin #2 would still be texting to ask where I was and if I wanted to meet up. His invite was often followed by pics of his latest culinary creation. You'll be pleased to know that it appears that his eggs benedict have indeed improved.

Despite opportunity, I decided not to find out the answer to my lingering questions. Both were kind yet different, if I'm honest, I was so confused by the whole ordeal that awkwardness proved to be the real winner. If I were to miraculously ever be in this situation again, I would likely choose to panic and bail a second time…but that’s just me. Some things are better left unknown.

Current location: Tbilisi, Georgia. More date stories and travel content to be posted soon. If you haven't seen the update earlier this week, I created a travel guide so don't forget to take a peek here. As always thanks for reading :)