A First Date...With His Mom

A Date in Every Country: A Series
Date #40
Location: Zimbabwe
Nationality: Zimbabwean
Activity: lunch
Time: 10 hours
Will see again? Probably not
Connected via: Bumble 🐝

This was my second connection during my month in Zimbabwe and I've swiped right on a handsome local who is very well traveled. He's a videographer who has also driven across Africa leaving me instantly confident in our connection or at least our ability to swap fun, adventurous stories. One Bumble match and quick chat later, he's invited me to Sunday lunch...with his family. I question his choice because obviously this is a crazy idea for a first date. He insists it's fine but I NEED TO KNOW if his family has signed off on him bringing some random American girl who is solo roadtripping across the continent. He assures me it's fine so how can I say no to such an unusual offer?

I had pulled into the capital city of Harare a few days earlier with no place to stay. This was typical for me, figuring out where I was sleeping day by day, new country by new country. I decided to pop into a cafe to grab lunch and figure out my plan. I had already scoped out a hotel with the intention of asking them if I could park Betty out of the way and stay the night in their parking lot. A solid plan, which I had done many times already. But first, food. Google sent me to the cutest cafe and I was immediately charmed by the giant yard filled with random tables, canopy trees and guests wandering about. Not 20 minutes later, and in between bites, I find myself agreeing to stay with the owner and her delightful and very generous family. Cue sleeping in a real bed (true luxury!) and eating s'mores and pizza by their fire pit.

When my newly adopted family found out about my date, they insisted he came to pick me up so they could make sure he passed inspection. He promised to return me all in one piece in a few hours and we set off with their approval. Our date started off exceedingly domestic as we swung by the supermarket to pick up one of those giant tubs of ice cream. A seemingly large amount for a family luncheon. This was my first clue. Little did I know what I'd be walking into. Upon arriving at his mom's house, the back patio is decorated with a long table, all ready for a party. By long table I mean 4 tables put together, and stretching almost the length of the house, with various mismatched chairs, a foreshadowing that this was not a typical Sunday meal.

IT WAS A FAMILY REUNION WITH 20+ PEOPLE!

You all should have seen my face. I was anything but prepared, yet in a matter of minutes I'm smiling and shaking hands as though I'm the long-lost girlfriend meeting cousins and family friends. His mother, a true matriarch, was the loveliest host and didn't seem fazed by the random American among her brood. It was the introduction to his brother that shed light on the day's true meaning. He'd been abroad, and this was his first time returning home in 5 years! On top of that, the lunch was also to celebrate his mother's BIRTHDAY. I have officially and unintentionally crashed two very important events. My elbow is itching to poke my date's side, but he has wandered off to catch up with the rest of the party-goers. I'm left to my own devices and find myself filling in the gaps and chatting up strangers like I was a part of a spy thriller who needed to blend in. A questionable yet still convincing backstory was quickly established, and to be fair, I had been asked if I was a spy only a week prior while being questioned (but that's another story).

More people keep arriving, and the elongated table is promptly filled with drinks and joyful conversation, often shouted 7 people down the table. I'm ping-ponging in my attempt to follow along. I'm sat next to his lovely cousin who is quick to chat and makes me feel at ease. Her kindness was disarming ,and when asked how long we'd been dating I couldn't help but whisper the truth that we'd met just an hour before! She was shocked but couldn't contain her delight at our charade. Dinner is potluck style and drinks are flowing. While this was an entirely different culture, the event reminded me of home - a little chaotic, but full of love and laughter.

A second surprise of the day was their family friend, emboldened by a few drinks, who shamelessly (and somewhat awkwardly) started to flirt with me from across the table. It was blatant and drew enough attention that a very direct and embarrassingly loud comment from his filterless brother announced that I could pick among the men at the table. TALK ABOUT AWKWARD.

What the family couldn't see were the flirtatious moves happening under the table at the hands of my actual date. A few hours had passed, the conversation had slowed, and his fingers traced my skin, a horrible distraction as I tried my best to pay attention to what was happening above the table.

I excused myself, wandering in search of the bathroom, and upon exiting, my date was waiting for me in the hallway. Without a care for the family that was within earshot, I was promptly pinned against the wall and kissed breathless. I could taste the alcohol on his breath, but after hours of whispered flirting and a few touches under the table, this was overdue. I let myself indulge until I was sure we'd be caught, and promptly dragged my flushed self back outside to chat up his mother.

The tension continued, as did the dinner party. With the sudden addition of a host family, I checked in to let them know I was still alive and likely going to be delayed. A bottle of whiskey was opened and I sensed that my ride home was going to be more than a little delayed. As night fella and the party finally wrapped up, I was tugged back inside for a little more fun. Fooling around in what I assumed was his childhood bedroom was seemingly a creative way to pass the time while making sure he was good to drive. It was quite late when I got home. A newfound embarrassment debuted when I realized I had to text someone to open the gate. As the dad came to let me in, I apologized for the late hour while doing my best to avoid eye contact so he wouldn't spot my very obvious signs of a steamy makeout. I might be in my 40's, but suddenly felt like a teenager who'd missed curfew and was sure to be grounded. (To be fair, I was one of those annoyingly responsible teens who didn't actually do this, so consider this a necessary life experience I finally checked off ...even if it was a few decades late.)

While our first date was lovely, he made sure to plan a second one just for us before my upcoming departure. This second one proved much more chill, with significantly fewer people in attendance. We snuggled on the couch and watched a movie, a date that reminded me of dating back home. After some of my adventurous dates, the domestic feel of our dates was surprisingly refreshing.

I visited Zimbabwe knowing very little and by the time I'd left, I'd eaten crocodile and ostrich, seen a World Wonder, brandished my machete more than once and was charged by an elephant. I'm considering writing a second post about all the fun and unusual things I did during my month-long roadtrip around the country. Let me know what you thought of this date and if you'd love to hear more details about Zimbabwe. Confession - I did have another date with a local but that one presented a red flag that was impossible to ignore.