A Boy in Bergen.

A Date in Every Country: A Series
Date #17
Location: Bergen, Norway
Nationality: Norwegian
Activity: Dinner/Host
Time: 15 hours
Will see again? I’d like to
Connected via: Bumble

Timing is a b*tch.

We matched right as I was leaving Bergen the first time and I had no plans to go back. As it was Bumble and up to me to start the convo, I happily complimented him on his profile as it’s one of the best I’ve seen. A great combination of photos (him looking fabulous of course) but full of interesting activities and good travel pics which are the key to my heart as you all know. It can be hard to start the convo sometimes but not with a profile like that! He was generous in receiving the compliment and the conversation took off from there. With him telling me of some of his travels in Asia, he was quick to offer recommendations and assistance as I'm headed there at some point.

Our chat was easy and I quickly found myself disappointed that we had not matched sooner. Surprisingly the convo continued despite our inability to meet up. We connected on socials as I thought that might be the only way to continue the conversation but….the universe had other ideas. I mentioned previously that transportation in Norway proved challenging and I found that the best way to head north after my bucket list, overnight hike at Trolltunga was to connect back through Bergen. This decision was made at the very last minute and saw me jumping on a bus with zero plans including accommodation. Once I was on the bus, I shot off a quick text carried on the tiniest bit of hope:

Me: Guess who might be in Bergen tonight?

Him: Would you look at that! Changed your travel plans?

A lil chit chat ensued and he invited me on a sunset hike but I wouldn't be arriving in time for sunset and my feet were beat after my epic Trolltunga adventure.

Him: hmmm…where are you staying? Airbnb/hotel?

Me: I haven't figured that out yet.

Me: Unless you have a couch you’re renting out lol

Him: Actually heading home after work to clean my guest room for an Airbnb guest that arrives tomorrow evening so the room available tonight.

Me: really!?!??! Tell me more…

Before I knew it, he had sent me the link to his guest room listing and had offered a special pick up service, agreeing to meet me at the bus stop. Did I mention he was making dinner and a bottle of wine was involved?! Norwegian men seemed to be trained in the art of hosting. Also when’s the last time you got to read reviews of your dates in advance? Nothing but 5 stars so we were off to a good start!

This all happened quickly as I was literally in transit but I felt comfortable as our conversation was without any red flags plus he clearly rented his guest room out to other travelers. We met outside the bus stop where he picked me up and we both started laughing as to the last minute nature of this unexpected rendezvous. We headed to the grocery store as he was cooking dinner and I happily followed him through the produce section as he gathered what he needed. I only know of one other person that makes poké bowls from scratch but talk about a power move. A man in his own kitchen, owning his space and cooking with obvious skill. Few things are sexier.

This interaction was different than others as he not only knew about my blog but confessed that he'd read a bit! Ahhh! (cue me blushing) He was honest in his curiosity, asking me loads of questions. I find men are equally as curious as women when I tell them about my dating experiment. I did my best to pepper him with questions of my own as I sought to learn about the culture there. I learned all about his flexible schedule and the ways in which Norway supports a healthy work/life balance. If you work over your allotted hours for the week you can bank the extra as PTO!! Consider me jealous. We moved to the couch to enjoy our dinner and wine, him on one couch while I settled on the other one. This facilitated great conversation but the physical distance left me wondering if this was actually a date or not.

Conversation careened from his adventures in Asia to him questioning what I was really looking for through all of this. His questions were thoughtful and had me putting to words to thoughts that had simply been mulling around inside my brain. What would I really do if I fell in love? Was I actually open to love or was this solely an experiment? Where would this journey end for me? What did I want that to look like? So ya know…just some light first date conversation haha. As we spoke about the challenges of modern dating and our own paths of growth, I was pleasantly surprised to hear him speak of his own journey with intimacy. He exhibited a certain sincere vulnerability when discussing his preferences and his discovery of his own sexuality. He spoke about it in such a healthy way that had me realizing that this conversation is often missing for me when dating.

My conservative upbringing meant that I had never received "the talk", let alone learned how to communicate around intimacy.

I found him more and more attractive as the conversation continued. Sweet lord, we do love a man with some good self awareness. Someone who exhibits growth but also the desire and commitment to continue that growth is wildly appealing.

We dabbled into more “adult topics” and despite the physical space between us I was feeling that special kinda tension in the best possible way but….I still wasn't sure what this really was. It’s not everyday that you randomly end up at a stranger's house to share a home cooked meal and are renting the guest room before you leave town the next day. To be honest, I’ve had lovely and very intimate conversations with both strangers and lovers alike. I was so engaged in the conversation that I didn't want to be distracted by the internal dialogue of trying to figure out what this actually was.

As I’ve gotten more comfortable in my own skin during this journey around the world, I’ve found it more and more freeing to be more direct. In this case as I sat and wondered if this was a date or not, I decided to simply ask.

"Do you consider this a date?"

I could see he was a bit surprised by my direct question before he calmly processed this. He paused then clarified aloud what we both knew, that this was far from a traditional way of meeting someone, even an online date. He expressed his pleasant surprise at how aligned we were in both mindset and travel ambitions. His final answer was that this was indeed a date albeit an incredibly unique one. I lost track of time as we covered places I should go, embarrassing sexual encounters, our travel bucket lists and so much more. The hours flew by and it was well after midnight when I found myself apologizing as I had kept this man up far past his bedtime considering he had work in the morning. We got ready for bed and I tried not to have my bag explode across his guest room as I knew I’d only have to turn around and pack up in the morning.

It was time for bed and as I stood in the door still trying to process this refreshingly, intimate evening, I sought to find words to express my gratitude for his hospitality and his openness in sharing his story. We both marveled a bit as neither one of us expected this when he picked me up at the bus stop only a few hours prior. We stilled as we looked at each other in the entryway between the two rooms, keenly aware of the other person and this newfound connection. We hugged and it was one of those long-holding, sink-into-each-other type of hugs. We’d had no physical contact up to this point despite an obvious attraction so it lingered….and lingered some more. A hug turned into a kiss and let’s just say the guest room bed did not need to be remade the next day.

Do you ever leave things undone or unsaid purposefully? Leaving something unfinished as you’ll want to revisit this place, this person, this moment at some point in the future.

It feels like I’m giving my future self a gift, something to look forward to. This can be a mixed bag as it can also feel as though you missed out on something, leaving something undone or incomplete. This emotional juxtaposition of both missing out and excitement for more has a unique appeal and that is exactly how I left things with this man.

Morning came and he was able to work from home for a few hours. He sat at the table working but I distracted him horribly when I confessed that I had yet to buy my plane ticket….for a flight that afternoon. Apparently my waiting to the last minute and just winging it shocked him. He was a very spontaneous traveler himself but perhaps not to that degree. He continued to laugh as I sorted my last minute plans to head north to the Lofoten Islands. Being from the north, he was quick to offer more recommendations for my upcoming adventures. He rushed out the door to work, leaving me in his apartment until I headed to the airport a bit later. Our goodbyes were hopeful as we both acknowledged how wonderful our brief time was together.

Since then, we’ve kept in touch intermittently. He sent an interesting message a few weeks later when we were chatting. He couldn't help but wonder why I was keeping in touch with him specifically. His impression, like many others, is that I'm dating all the time and have loads of men and options but honestly that’s not the case. As many of you know, dating can be exhausting. I take it as it comes and often go in spurts, sometimes dating frequently then taking several weeks off. This is dictated by my travel schedule as well as my mood and capacity. It has zero rhyme or reason.

My answer to him was that while I may go on more first dates than most (and definitely some more non-traditional ones), I do find it hard to find someone who matches my energy as well as my love of travel. I meet so many lovely humans but that doesn't mean we are always compatible and want the same things. He’s one of the few who shared some of the same goals and passions and that’s why I’m so grateful for this unexpected date that taught me so much. I'm not sure if our paths will ever cross again, but part of me hopes they do. Reflecting on this date brings me nothing but joy. While I’ve found lovely chemistry with some of my dates, the connection element paired with compatibility is not so easy. I didn't think this date would happen...but I'm so glad it did. Dates like these raise the bar for me and I wonder what dates in your past have done the same for you?

Norway checked more than a few boxes for me. I find there's no better feeling than finally checking something off your bucket list. Trolltunga, a giant granite tongue jutting out over the stunning fjords had been on my list for years and I decided to splurge a bit for this particular experience. This trek is what had brought me to Norway in the first place. I rarely do tours but couldn't pass up the opportunity to sleep on top of this mountain. I opted for the most active option as I didn't want to miss any part of the experience. To get to the top, we mountain biked along a gorgeous lake, managed a steep climb to get to the base of the 800+ foot sheer cliff that was the famed via ferrata. We strapped in and managed to climb straight up for 2.5 hours to reach the top. We waited until sunset to go enjoy the picturesque spot without having to fight the crowds. The view looking out over the fjords was all I had dreamed of and more. We enjoyed a dinner of reindeer stew and got to taste local spirits in our gorgeous yurt. I will never forget falling asleep on a bed of furs and walking up to see first light over the fjords. We hiked down the second day and I couldn't be any happier with the tour and my bucket list experience.

My time in Norway wasn't finished just yet and neither was my dating. Up next - the Lofoten Islands. (Scroll to the bottom to catch my latest update.)

Update: It's been a minute since my last post but I'm currently in Sri Lanka, still traveling and dating in every country. I'm diving back into my storytelling as I have continued to collect a never-ending supply of adventures from the road. Stay tuned for new developments and entertaining stories delivered straight to your inbox. As always, tthanks for reading. Don't forget to subscribe and share this story.

More to come...

See you in the comments x